29 June 2009
Successful Intentions Newsletter
Hi ,
Trust me. I'm a banker.
Trust is the all-powerful glue that holds business together. But the GFC has seriously eroded our trust in trust. Why do we trust?
It turns out we're genetically programmed to trust. It's part of our evolutionary success. It's linked to the parent-child bond, and cooperation as a means for survival. And it doesn't take much to tip us toward trust. In fact, in many ways, trust is our default position.
So how trusting should we be? It's true that trust may open us up to abuse when we're dealing with an exploiter. Yet distrust may cause us to miss out on potential benefits if the other person happens to be honest.
Here are some ideas for Trusting Wisely:
- Know yourself: Do you tend to trust too much and too readily? Or do you assume the worst about people's motivations and intentions? If you're prone to trust the wrong people, you'll have to get better at recognizing the cues. If you're reluctant to form trusting relationships, you'll have to expand your behavioural repertoire.
- Start small: Try low risk tests of trust, particularly in the early stages of a relationship. Expressing lots of small trusting acts sends a signal to others who are also interested in building good relationships.
- Write an escape clause: You can hedge your bets by making it clear how you will disengage if trust is breached. Paradoxically, this allows all parties to trust more easily and comfortably - and even to take bigger risks.
- Send strong signals: Don't assume that people will automatically find you trustworthy. Make loud, clear and consistent statements about your willingness to trust. And about how you will respond if your trust is abused.
- Recognize the other person's dilemma: Others face the same trust dilemma as you do. "Should I invest my money with you?" "Should I allow you to operate on me?" By demonstrating empathy for the other person's perspective you can help resolve their anxiety and concerns.
- Keep vigilant and always question: In starting out in any business relationship it's important to conduct due diligence. But it's still possible to be fooled unless you regularly revisit trust. When our physical, mental, or financial security is at stake, trust must be tempered by a sustained, disciplined ambivalence.
Trust is critical for our social and economic welfare. But when we assume trust it all too often ends in tears. To get the benefits of trust we must first learn how to temper it.
Find out about the First Australian Leadership Coaching Conference for Educators.
And read about "Doughnut Wisdom" on my "Wisdom Circle" blog for musings, research, and applications of practical wisdom!
Keep your intentions clear,
Peter Webb
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