27 November 2008
Successful Intentions Newsletter
Hi ,
Welcome to the dark side!
Truth is there's is there's a little bit of Darth in all of us! How you typically behave under uncertainty, stress, or ambiguity is your dark side - the default behaviours you retreat to in order to survive whatever you perceive is attacking you.
At that time you'll display one (or more) of three behavioural syndromes:
- "Moving Away" - You are prone to highly emotional displays as a way of protecting your insecurity and fear of being criticized. You're probably sensitive to signs of betrayal or disapproval and you're likely to either retaliate or become resentfully withdrawn.
- "Moving Against" - You overplay self-confidence to the point of arrogance, and creativity to the point of seeming eccentric. You're likely to self-dramatize and push the limits as a way of getting control.
- "Moving Toward" - You over-concentrate on the details in the hope of preventing bad things from happening, and you defer decision-making to others for fear of making a mistake.
These three syndromes give rise to three strategies for influencing others and getting your way. Have you heard any of these, ?
- Intimidation - "I'm disappointed with you". "I'm being mistreated and taken advantage of". "I have to tell you all the problems that could occur, otherwise you'll stuff it up". "You say I'm not listening to you, but I would if you had anything interesting to say". "The only reason I ignore you is because you always interrupt me".
- Seduction - "Just follow me and everything will be all right". "Don't worry, I can pull this off". "everyone else likes me, so why not just join me?" "Trust me, I can see the path we need to take".
- Control - "Give me everything I ask of you because I'm the only one who can do it right". "I've done everything for you. Now that I need your support, don't let me down".
It's easier to recognize the dark side in others than in yourself. But we all use these strategies at one time or another. Even though they're not nice, and we often feel bad afterwards. The trick is to know which behaviours you typically retreat to when you feel threatened. And then build psychological resources for deflecting them. How? By getting yourself a psychological personal trainer!
, the December 12, Coaching for Wisdom one-day workshop has a 2 places left. The workshop is a unique exploration into how to make wise decisions when faced with dilemmas in life, and how not to default to the dark side! This is the last program for 2008, and it will be held at the Sydney campus of the Melbourne Business School, Pyrmont NSW.
Keep your intentions clear,
Peter Webb
Home
| Manage subscription (Unsubscribe, change e-mail, text only)
