4 February 2008
Successful Intentions Newsletter
Hi ,
Getting others to take responsibility for their actions is a bit like herding cats!
People can be pretty cunning about ducking and weaving around their commitments when they want to. It's all about what gets noticed and what remains hidden.
Imagine a ship floating in the water. From your position standing on the wharf everything above the water line is visible to you. What's below the water line is hidden from view. In the same way people can make clear commitments to you which they take responsibility for. This is above the (water) line. And then they may say one thing and do another because their real motivation is hidden from view - below the (water) line.
What's visible above the line with commitment is:
- Ownership: Identifying with the commitment - "yes, that's me".
- Accountability: Accepting the consequences of the commitment - "I'm prepared to take what's coming"
- Rresponsibility: Acknowledging a duty to fulfill the commitment - "The buck stops with me".
What's all too often below the line with commitment is:
- Blame: "It's your fault - you didn't give me enough (resources) to keep my commitment!"
- Excuse: "The dog ate my homework!"
- Denial: "No, I don't remember you telling me to do that!"
The trick is to invite and encourage people to come "above the line" with their commitments. Not to berate them or belittle them. This will only cause them to sink further. How do you do this?
- Question the behaviour not the person. Stick to what is observable about the situation.
- Speak quietly and deliberately without displaying emotion. Whatever you may be feeling about the issue get your own emotions out of the way before speaking.
- Make your own position regarding the particular commitment quite clear: "This is what's at stake for me".
- Speak personally and directly. Don't use the Royal "we". Instead use: "I observed", and "this is my response", and "how do you see it?"
- Ask more questions than statements. Invite the other person to tell their side of the story, and question its validity.
- Be prepared to accept mis-understanding on your side. You might have got it wrong. Listen before judging.
- Discuss a way forward and get agreement about what the next steps should be.
- Hold yourself and the other person accountable for sticking to these steps. Agree to check on progress.
- The more often you confront (from the Latin, frontere, fons frontis, meaning to bring "face to face") the more likely they will be to come above the line.
Remember, to get people out of BED you have to use your OAR to row them above the line!
If you're at a cross-road in your life , with some really big decisions to make then I invite you to consider the Wisdom in Leadership® one-day Workshop to be held on Friday March 14th 2008 at Melbourne Business School's Sydney Campus in Pyrmont. This program will give you the tools you need to make the right decisions in business and in life!
For more information simply download the brochure here (but be patient, it may take a little time!)
Or go directly to the website here.
Keep your intentions clear,
Peter Webb
Home
| Manage subscription (Unsubscribe, change e-mail, text only)
