27 November 2007
Successful Intentions Newsletter
Hi ,
How do you gain the advantage in strategic conversations? It's as easy as C-P-D!
So often we're called on to "wrestle" opponents in verbal battles for supremacy: From negotiating a favourable contract settlement to getting your point across in a meeting. Is it just a game of "my ego is bigger than your ego"? Or can anyone play?
Here are four valuable techniques to help you get the edge in strategic conversations:
- Listen more than talking. About 5 times more in fact! You learn much more about your opponent by listening to him than by hearing yourself.
- Ask more questions. Look what happens in TV interviews: "He who asks the questions controls the conversation!"
- Don't take it personally. As soon as you feel "hooked" emotionally, you've lost the conversation. Let your opponent have her "spray". It can no more affect you than a wet dog shaking itself!
- State your position clearly and deliberately. Don't fluff around. If you've thought about it beforehand you should know exactly what's at stake for you. Make that clear to your opponent, while at the same time inviting comment. "That's my position - what's your view?"
This is where C-P-D (Concept-Principle-Detail) comes in. Every conversation carries within it a three-dimensional map. For example:
- A single orange is at the level of Detail.
- But the Principle characteristic of the orange is that it is a fruit.
- And the overarching Concept is that it represents food!
Most of the problems in strategic conversations occur at the level of Detail. You may think you have the stronger argument, but a good opponent will always be able to unseat you if you stay stuck in the detail. You must come up to the level of the Principle of the matter, or even higher, to the overarching Concept at stake in order to trump your opponent.
When used in strategic conversations it becomes C>P>D. Appealing to the key Principle of the matter always takes your opponent "above" the mere Details. And calling on the fundamental Concept at stake trumps Principles every time!
Do you want to know more, ?
Keep your intentions clear,
Peter Webb
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