Music Educators' Energiser

A trumpet student's 'total horror' parent refused to pay the invoice because she - a federal politician! - 'disagreed' with its GST (Australian government tax). Her anger issues have riveted media and prompt a bonus early e-zine as parents from hell are a hot topic with this list. Our sympathies go to the teacher!

Tips to Defuse Anger and Aggression: To build rapport, first:

LISTEN to understand the issue.

PAUSE to indicate your consideration.

BREATHE ... then:

Words that win: (Keep your voice low and slow.)

• 'How can I help you?'

• 'I appreciate your point...'

• 'You're welcome to your opinion... however...'

• 'I hear what you say... but...' (i.e. even if I don't agree)

To disagree tactfully:

• 'Perhaps there's a misunderstanding' • Maybe you missed my point, so let me clarify that again...' • 'Let me check if I understood you correctly...' (give space to save face.)

Assert yourself with grace

Aim to create win-win outcomes. Avoid aggressive 'you' talk which may escalate aggression.

• 'I understand/"I'm confident that/'I feel that...'

• 'I hear what you say but dxvjefdlkj...you have a point but dxvjefdlkj... I agree in part but dxvjefdlkj.' (this is the rutted LP record technique.)

GST? Render to Caesar: Where my income is via institution payroll, the addition of GST is not appropriate. My private studio students accept the GST as legal requirement.

More tips in 'Professional Teacher-Parent Communications' In Service session; see http://www.RuthBonetti.com/WorkshopsO8.pdf

We educators are professionals and deserve respect. Ask and you shall receive.

('No-one can make you feel inferior without your consent.' - Eleanor Roosevelt).

Shoulders down, head high, breathe - and smile!